5 Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Day Job

September 3rd, 2010
Most of us would stop working if we could. We constantly dream about it, but that's about as far as we get-dreaming. Working a 9-5 just seems inevitable. I, Timothy Ward, however am a master at defying the inevitable. I stare 'The Inevitable' in the face and call him dirty names. I say, if you want to stop working, STOP WORKING; I'll even give you 5 reasons why you should. 1. If you stop working you'll have more time to devote to reading my articles, columns, and lists. This will enable me ...
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Art and Entertainment

TOOTHBRUSHRUSH

September 2nd, 2010
Toothbrushrush. by Bob Wood Does it seem to you that you brush your teeth way too often? Do your days distort and collapse around the beginnings and endings as you face down your grimace while brushing those choppers? Mine do. Every time I brush (twice a day, religiously, and I don't mean while in a kneeling position) it seems as if I just did it. Time between brushings is apparently running much faster than the time WHILE brushing, which seems to take forever. There could be alien forces at ...
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Art and Entertainment

8 Reasons Why You Should Email Me One Dollar

September 1st, 2010
Paypal has made it possible to quickly and easily send money over the Internet. This allows us to pay for all kinds of purchases with a lot less hassle. It also will allow you, everyone who reads this article, to send me, Timothy Ward, $1.00. Being the cynics that you are, I know you're probably asking: "Why should I send you $1.00? I barely even know you. If I hadn't somehow stumbled onto this article I wouldn't even have known that you exist. I still don't know how I came across ...
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Art and Entertainment

Best April Fools Day Pranks- Enjoy Yourself With These Pranks

August 31st, 2010
Being able to pull off the best April Fools day pranks is awesome. Especially when you're able to get a good laugh from it. So, what I'm going to do is share with you some of the best April Fools day pranks that you can pull off this year. That way, you'll be able to have fun pranking people this year. The best April Fools pranks are: 1. The first one that you can pull on someone is to use fart sprays. These are sprays that smell like fart, or sometimes worst. This would be great to use in your ...
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Art and Entertainment

April Fools Day Pranks- The Best Pranks To Pull On Someone

August 30th, 2010
Pulling pranks on people is a traditional thing to do on April Fools day. If you're looking to really have a good laugh this year, you will definitely know what to do after you've read this. Because, what I'm going to do is share with you some great April Fools day pranks. That way, you'll be able get a good laugh this year pranking people. The April Fools day pranks that you can do are: 1. The first thing you can do is give someone a fake scratch off lotto ticket. Regardless if the person ...
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Art and Entertainment

Harmless April Fools Day Pranks- Great Pranks That You Can Do This Year

August 29th, 2010
There are a lot of harmless April Fools day pranks that you can do to really trick someone. You're probably not sure which one you want to do this year. So, what I'm going to do is share with you some harmless April Fools day pranks that you can do. That way, you'll be able to pull the best pranks and jokes this year. The harmless pranks that you can do are: 1. The first one that you can do to get someone this year is to use the winning lotto ticket prank. This is probably one of the best ...
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Art and Entertainment

April Fools Pranks- Pull Off The Best Pranks This Year

August 27th, 2010
There are a lot of great April Fools pranks that you can do to trick someone. You probably want the best ones. You know...the ultimate pranks that will have you and your friends laughing for a long time. So, what I'm going to do is share with you some April Fools pranks that you can do this year. That way, you'll have a great time pranking people. The April Fools pranks that you should do are: 1. The first thing you do can is use fart spray. You can either spray this at your job or use it in a ...
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Art and Entertainment

Timothy Ward Is Hotter Than You

August 26th, 2010
Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working. While some writers find that long walks or exercise help them to invoke the muse, I've found that cruising along through cyberspace with no particular place to go helps to stimulate that corner of my brain that holds great ideas. Sometimes when ...
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Art and Entertainment

Warning

August 25th, 2010
Today's topic, ladies and gentleman, is: Time. We're going to talk about time today because I never seem to have enough of it. And I figure that if I dedicate a whole column to the subject of time and stress some of it's finer points, then perhaps Father Time will show his appreciation by granting me a few extra hours each day. This will allow me to be able to complete a couple more important tasks each day such as hitting the 'Snooze' button on my alarm clock at least 15 more times each ...
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Art and Entertainment

An Extract From The Lost Diary Of Captain Scott

August 24th, 2010
Tuesday 11th Beginning to wish I'd brought the other duvet.  Snowed all day again Oates is getting restless.  Wednesday 12th Advanced 15 feet today before frostbite set in.  Really shouldn't have worn flip-flops.  Made baked Alaska Surprise for dinner - Oates hit me, again.  Thursday 13th Thought it best to stay put today, seeing as Oates's hand dropped off at breakfast. We're running low on germaline again.   Friday 14th Weather too bad to venture too far.  Stayed in tent and checked ...
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